The Dignity of a Master

I think...therefore I have wisdom to share...

Thursday, September 08, 2005

A Story of Four Wives

I'm sure there are quite a few of you out there thinking 'Four wives? Is he nuts?!', as well as 'I thought Jedi's couldn't marry?!'. So, just for you very special people, I shall tell you about the four wives. [hehe...]

See, back at home on Cerea, we've had many many problems. Before I was even born our world was in chaos, with mauraders and bandits and hooligans, throwing our generally peaceful world into a boiling vat of chaos. 'Not cool', as the other students at school say. Anyway, I'll fast forward through the years after my talent with the force was discovered, through my training [under one very talented green Master who talks funny], until the time when I [finally] became a Master. I returned home and defeated those who were causing mayhem in our system, including the ringleader of it all, Bin-Zarda-Gon. He was creepy, let me tell you...sores and snot all over his wrinkled face...it was enough to make you sick. But I prevailed, and ended the menace.

It was during this time that I met my first wife, my bond wife, Shea. She was so...beautiful, and rebellious. Very rebellious. *wink* Because our population had plummetted in years previous, and Cerean's have a low birth rate, I was given special permission to marry. And not only marry, but marry many times, following the usual Cerean tradition of polygamy. So...now I have four sweet, beautiful, intelligent wives. But I was back on Cerea a few weeks ago and there was this one woman... ... ...

*Ahem*

What was I talking about again?

Friday, September 02, 2005

Roll Call

I realize that I have been absent for a while...my apologies. But there are reasons for it! First of all, I decided that I needed a larger room in the temple. I have four wives...they take up quite some space! So I have spent a large amount of time lately moving everything around. Particular care had to be taken with my minature Cerean garden. The plants are very delicate! But at last everything has been moved around, reorganized, and life is back to normal.

The second reason, even more exciting than the first, is that I, Ki-Adi-Mundi, have decided to go back to school. Being a Jedi you learn many things, but certain faucets of education are ignored, for the most part. So I have taken it upon myself to become further educated by enrolling in a lovely little university. Flemings Academy for Knowing Everything [FAKE], seemed like the perfect place for me. The work load is...well...astounding. I think I intimidate my professors just a tad bit. I think the idea of a lightsaber in their classroom frightens them. They have nothing to fear however, as I keep trying to reassure them. But more on that later. No doubt this new venture will give me plenty to relate to you. Goodbye for now, I'm off to 'hit the books' as they say.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Dinner

Good evening again friends. Or rather, good early early morning. I hope you've all been well since my last post? Good...I just finished a rather excellent meal, and thought that it was about time to pop in again. I must apologize for my lapse, I'm afraid business took me away for a bit. A bit of trouble on my homeworld, some raiders showing up again. *sigh* I think the problem has been contained for now, I hope so anyway.

But, onto the subject of this particular post: Dinner! It was quite good really. My first wife is the best cook in all the galaxies. And I am not kidding. Tonight she chose to fix chicken, a rather old-time, rustic meat, but one of my favorites. She covered it in a lovely, oily, batter and fried it, then topped it with melted cheese. With the chicken we had corn and a lovely rice dish. Sounds like a lovely meal, does it not? Too bad you missed it. The batter is the best part in my opinion. We call it 'fatter batter'. It has enough oil in it to stop your heart where you sit. Only the most experienced diner can handle it I'm afraid. So perhaps it is better you don't come to dinner after all.

After dinner we settled in to watch a wonderful old vid, it was called 'Remember the Titans'. One of my favorite vids, all about people of different races coming together. It's a beautiful thing. But the hour grows late, and my wives are beckoning me to bed, so I'll bed thee adieu.

May the Force be with you...[and you...and you...and you...and especially you...]
Master Ki-Adi-Mundi

Friday, August 12, 2005

The Dignity Of A Master

Well, here I am, adding my name to the immortal list of bloggers. I have been ruminating long about this, and have decided that it is my duty to write this blog. After all, someone must show all the young padawans how a Jedi Master ought to behave. Really. I have thought about this, meditated on it, and have the following to support my point:

1. Master Yoda: Yes, he is one of the wisest Masters to ever live, yes he is small and green and quite good with a lightsaber. Yet his fascination with...passing wind...and other such bodily functions leaves much to be desired. Surely we need not teach the padawans that. They know quite enough without any encouragement.

2. Master Obi-wan: Do not get me wrong...Obi-wan can be a fine master...when he wants to be. But frankly, his obsession with cheetohs, not to mention that awful wrestling thing, well, it just isn't befitting for a master to be so absorbed in such things. Not to mention that it teaches the younglings to be a bit...slovenly. And I highly doubt he meditates as often as he should.

3. Anakin: I realize that Anakin is not a master [despite his tantrums to change that] but many of the padawans look up to him. And just look at the example he gives them...talking like some lower-city death stick dealer, carving up sand people, just being so...angry. Hardly befitting, now is it?

4. Master Windu: There is only one thing that is really necessary to say about Windu, and that should sum it up rather nicely. He is a little too in touch with his 'feminine' side.

There are others, but these serve as very good examples. I believe that it is my job to guide the younglings onto the correct path of Master...keep them on the very straight forward, logical path. Something my...counterparts...seem to have difficulty doing. Hopefully, I am not too late to save the padawans. I have long since abandoned saving the Masters...*sigh* Ah, excuse me...my dinner is ready. Something else all good Master's must establish: A regular, healthy eating schedule.

Goodnight my friends.
May the Force [and not the gas, cheetohs, anger, femininty (or brownies)] be with you.

With logic,
Master Ki-Adi-Mundi